Self-development, posts where I think too introspectively.
I just finished reading Durga Chew-Bose’s book of essays Too Much and Not in the Mood. The book drew me in, in a way I wasn’t expecting. I’ve been reading a lot of books of essays by women, by women of colour, in the past couple of years, but this one was different. I’ve not ever […]
I’m a bad wife, coming off a rough week. I have also lost the ability to remember what day it is. And that is why I realized only late this afternoon that tomorrow is Joe’s birthday. But it’s okay, because I have already given him everything he ever wanted. Boo-yah. We started dating shortly […]
We knew my grandfather was dying. We were waiting. And that meant that every time my phone rang and I saw my mother’s name I girded myself for the worst news. It’s been a few weeks now, but still, every time I see my mother’s name pop up I anticipate bad news. I imagine her […]
There are two keys to my depression – the things that go sideways first. One is eating, the other is sleep. This week both tanked severely. The kid was struggling with anxiety and sleep. Joe was away, which means that she was struggling more and that it was all on me to try my fix […]
For the past month or so my life has been in upheaval. A few weeks ago I was in the emergency room, terrified, in pain and uncomfortable. I felt as though I might be having a heart attack. I went through a bunch of tests – and I am so thankful for the doctor who […]
We went to the funeral home today to put up the cremains of my grandfather. I carried the fancy velvet bag containing the box that contains him to the car. It was heavier than I expected. I put it in the back seat and wondered whether I should buckle it in. I struggle with whether […]
Never let the tank get below half To this day I feel as though half a tank is basically empty, and when I was driving across Saskatchewan I stopped at every gas station I saw because who knew when there would be another one. Milkshakes should be thick enough that the straw stands up in […]
When Joe proposed to me, the moment was made all the more special when he told me he had gone to my grandfather and asked for his blessing. The act showed that Joe understood me perfectly. My grandfather helped to raise me and we had a special bond. He taught me to ride my bike, […]
I logged in to my blog and I don’t know why. I can’t remember thinking of something I needed to write, I just know that I re-opened my browser just now and came to this page and logged it. It could be that there is so much going on right now that instinct took over […]
One of the greatest privileges of my life has been watching my grandfather love my daughter.