The thing I need the most right now is slow.

I’m trying to work on drawing and sketching. I’m trying to get a handle on work. I’m getting ready to dive in to NaNoWriMo. The thing I need the most is to stop, breathe and slow down.

Drawing class is about pieces and practice. Looking at things and breaking down details.

NaNo is about the practice of writing every day. Getting words on the page.

Slowing down to knit and watch a show I like, stitch by stitch. Hugging my kid and talking to them, without my phone in my hand. Having a bath with a good book.

Taking the dog for a walk with a podcast on.

It’s working – or rather not working that is the problem.

I am very bad at not thinking about work, at stopping working, at pausing and stepping away from my desk. At jumping on things that need to get done rather than reminding myself that I don’t need to be the one to do them.

I have lost myself in recent weeks and months. There has been so much going on outside of me. I had stopped journalling, hadn’t knit at all since we moved, no jigsaw puzzles. I just picked my paint brushes back up.

Right now, physically, I feel like I’ve been in panic mode for months. My neck and shoulders need to release. My body can’t seem to get enough rest to heal.

And with no opportunity for any real breaks until Christmas, I’m not sure what happens next.

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