There are many, many things I could and should be doing to take care of myself and I am doing almost none of them. I am too busy, and too busy being stressed about being busy and about all the things I’m too busy be doing.
We just moved two weeks ago, but it feels like it’s been a long time, and it feel like we should be more settled than we are – because usually when we move, I get us more settled than this because I have the time. Right now, I do not have the time.
Sometimes I have to remind myself to breathe. I have a consistent feeling that I am forgetting something or am about to forget something. I have a consistent feeling that I am disappointing someone.
I am getting some good exercise – that is a great thing about the new house. Great walking paths, lots of time outside. We also have a great kitchen with a great island, which has meant that I come downstairs and sit at the island to have my coffee and start my morning, and I stay in the kitchen long enough to get something for breakfast. I used to get my coffee, go upstairs to my desk and then pretty much not realize what was going on until it was 3 pm and I hadn’t eaten anything.
On the other hand, I had Cheetos for dinner one day this week.
The other absolutely great thing this house has for my mental health is a giant bathtub in the en suite. Almost every night I can run myself a hot bath, grab a book and spend some time soaking. That is something I have desperately missed.
Unfortunately, that bath is also virtually the only alone time I get at the moment.
I haven’t been journalling, drawing, knitting, painting, sewing – my sewing machine is in the basement, along with my partially finished quilt.
I’m surrounded by partially finished things here. Mostly unpacked and mostly organized and ‘what am I going to do with that?’
We have also found a large number of things that the people who lived here before us either didn’t care enough to fix or were too lazy to fix. It’s been fun – figuring out that all the window screens are in the garage not because they took them out for winter, but because several of them are ripped and torn and they didn’t want buyers to see that.
I have two more weeks of very, very busy work. The lockdown here is suppose to loosen next week, I think. My kid gets to have her favourite summer camp in July. Some sort of relief is coming but right now I have to keep reminding myself to breathe.