I’ve been putting a playlist together since last night. Late 60s into the 70s. A specific sound of song that fits my mood just now. Gloomy. Halloween appropriate, I guess.
It’s the mix of another thing my kid doesn’t get to do this year, anger at all the people still not taking it seriously, and fear of what’s coming next week and how it will play out.
The playlist actually matches up fairly well with the record collection my mother had in our house when I was a kid. She didn’t keep a lot of her records, but there was a selection in the living room that I would flip through often enough. Some artists I still balk at, and some I’ve grown to love myself.
I took possession of her Mamas and Papas CD at some point, and my sister and I both laid claim to Abba Gold. I have cobbled together my own taste.
Basically right now I’m feeling late Beatles. Starting about 1965. I’m feeling Dusty Springfield in You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me. Some Beach Boys, after they stopped talking about surfing, The Monkees need not apply.
I feel like I spent most of my time right now either working, or sitting around trying to figure out what to do. There is no end of things I could be doing. I have books on the go, an unfinished puzzle sitting on the table. I could go out for some exercise, I could cook something tasty.
Somehow I’ve been sitting on the couch for almost three hours on Spotify.
It took me over an hour of my feet being cold to go upstairs and get socks. Suddenly it’s 1:30 in the afternoon and I haven’t eaten, even though I meant to, really.
It’s not the not caring, it’s the having too many things to care about. Too many things completely out of my control. A pinch of ‘why bother?’
It looks like a beautiful day. It’s sunny and bright out. I’m sure I would appreciate the fresh air. But right now I am a person with a bad back who can’t take the dog more than a block, maybe two.
Right now I’m thinking about why Mama Cass is still so defined by her weight when she had such a beautiful voice.
I’m wondering if there will ever be an end to clutter.
I’m wondering what the world will look like a week from now.