I had two conflicting experiences online this past week and I’m trying to wrap my head around them.

On the one hand, I was named by several people who I know, like and admire, as one of their list of inspiration women. Five lists of ten I was on. I felt like a fraud.

I honestly felt they were being too kind. I couldn’t imagine why I was on this lists among other women who inspire me.

But then this tweet was going around, that it’s almost the last month of this decade and what have you accomplished over the past 10 years, and it’s a long list.

I mean, firstly I was still pregnant at the end of the last decade and now I have a 9-year-old who I have managed to feed, clothe and entertain.

I’ve had good jobs and made the tough decision to leave them each time. I witnessed and played in a part in Canadian political history. I finished my Masters. We’ve bought two houses and sold one. I’ve completed several 5k runs. I have travelled by myself to New York City and Varadero, Cuba.

We have grieved. We have grieved so much.

This whole blog, which I have let sit untouched, tells the story of my last ten years (and more).

I have been brave and vulnerable. I have shared my beliefs. I try to fight back against what I see as injustice. I try to be honest.

I feel as though I have spent this decade, approaching 40, finding myself. I have a much better idea of who I am and what I want and what makes me happy than I ever have before. I just need to figure out how to do all the things. And stop expecting so much.


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