I found out that it’s likely I’ll be sent to Toronto for work in the near future and I was thinking about that, and my dislike of the city, and that it’s good I’ll have a colleague to help me make sure I don’t get lost.
And then I thought to myself – I haven’t gotten myself lost in Toronto in years. In fact, I have been many times and managed to get around just fine. I also now have a cell phone that has a map in it, and when in doubt I can call my husband who can direct me through anything. (See this summer when I was driving in Edmunston, he was in Ottawa, a street was closed for a special event, my GPS didn’t know that and he talked me through to our hotel).
My fear of walking around Toronto by myself comes entirely from the experiences I had when I tried to move to Toronto when I was 19.
The first was when I went to Toronto with my father for a tour of York University and had to make my way from my brother’s house in York to the bus station downtown. The second was after I had moved in to an apartment. That day I went with my father, brother and two nephews to a baseball game, then out to dinner. I took the subway back to my apartment and ended up completely lost and crying in the streets, not able to remember any street names or directions.
That is when I decided I hated Toronto.
Of course, that experience was also what demonstrated to me that maybe I wasn’t ready for university and maybe I didn’t actually know what I was doing, and how could I plan the rest of my life at 19.
Thinking about all this as I walked the dog this morning I started wondering what else I’ve just been telling myself that’s maybe changed in the last 20 years.