I have been a bit out of control for several months now. We’re been so stressed, first with the house on the market, then moving, getting the kid to start school and all the anxiety issues that have plagued us since. We haven’t had respite since May, I think. It’s been constant change and upheaval.

My eating habits went rapidly downhill and haven’t bounced back since. Grabbing whatever I’m craving, finishing take out meals that are too big for one sitting, eating mindlessly, stress eating.

I know my weight has gone up. In fact, all my weight has done over the last several years is gone up. It’s not that I haven’t been trying at all, it’s that I have only been trying it fits and bursts. And occasionally going way too hard and failing, and sometimes hurting myself.

What occurred to me only a short time ago – though I don’t know why it took so long – is the either way I go from here is going to be hard. If I continue to gain I will see my health falter, my fitness level decrease, my depression get worse. If I try to lose then I will face challenges with my body and my brain, but things will get better and easier on that road.

If I try to get out for walks, a swim, some movement, the stress will be easier to handle. If I remember to stay hydrated and go to bed at a decent hour. If the whole family is eating better. Spending time being calm. It could all be better.

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