To echo what he’d done


Personal / Wednesday, November 14th, 2018

When we were in New York, I took the kid to see Kinky Boots. I’ve seen the show before, and I’m a fan. It’s an uplifting story with fun music and drag queens – where can that go wrong? The kid had heard some of the music and specifically asked to see it, so we went.

Fathers are a theme in Kinky Boots. There is a song that’s been stuck in my head all day that Lola sings – Not My Father’s Son.

It sticks with me because I spent a lot of my life trying not to be like my father, but the older I get the more I realize how many of his traits I have. (My mother will occasionally point them out in frustration).

But the older I get, the more I also realize these traits are strengths.

Tonight my kid asked me if I ever regret having a child. I don’t. I can’t imagine my life without her, even if she thinks I wouldn’t know the difference. I did often wonder if my father felt he would have been better off without his second marriage and second family. I had reason to wonder, given that he basically disappeared for the first few years after they separated.

It makes me wonder how I ended up with all these traits. I’m like a nature vs nurture experiment.