I find it difficult to vacation. I find it difficult leaving work behind. I like to be in control of the things I should be controlling and leaving someone else to take care of things is incredibly hard.
I find it difficult too to be away from the news. I hate not knowing what’s happening and why. Except lately I’ve struggled with watching the news too. I want to know, but I don’t want to know. I need to know, but I hate knowing.
This week I tried to get away from it all, but there are a lot of things happening at work and a lot of things happening in the news and it was a struggle. Especially being in the U.S., I spent time wondering if there was something happening in New York City that we should know about.
I absolutely hate that I think this way now. We’re in New York, it’s marathon weekend, it’s election day. What do we do if something happens? Where do we go, how do we hide?
There was one moment when the kid decided to climb a rock and I pictured her falling and breaking something. I told her we’d have to drive back to Ontario.
I love New York. I feel comfortable there for the most part, but I still breathe a little more easily when my plane touches down back across the border.
Canada is far from a perfect country. It is far from a safe place – especially when we’re talking about an adventurous kid risking a broken limb – but here I have all the resources I need and a dollar is a dollar, not a dollar and thirty cents.