For perhaps the first time in my life today I couldn’t watch the news.
I have watched the news through many tragic events – 9/11, Sandy Hook. I have watched desperate to know the details, the happenings, the resolutions. I struggle to tear myself away and not know. Even as a young teenager I stayed up late into the night when JFK Jr’s plane disappeared and Princess Diana’s car crash.
I gather information, I pass that information on. I enjoy it so much and do it so well that it became a job.
But today I could not watch the news. I watched Twitter for a while, and even that was almost too much.
Today I cried during a sitcom.
I cried because Hillary Clinton came on as a joke and it was too much to see her today. To see a competent woman, one of the most qualified people to ever run for President, the woman who lost at least partly just because she was a woman. Because she refused to lower herself to the level of the current President.
I cried seeing her today, because today the world watched a man demonstrate how completely unqualified he is to be a Supreme Court Justice and we all know his nomination is going to go through anyway.
A man with an alleged history of sexually assaulting women (I believe Dr. Blasey Ford) who lied under oath, interrupted, yelled, cried.
Another racist, sexist, unqualified, self-important, entitled white man.
Today I couldn’t watch the news. I cried watching a show that was meant to be funny. Tonight I am sitting up awake, trying to process the rage and rawness I feel. Trying to imagine a time when they will stop winning the game they get to write the rules for. Trying to imagine a world where my daughter won’t have to fight these same fights.