A lot of 2018 has been full of stress so far. We’ve had two deaths in the family, we decided to move and that move resulted in a school change, and now I’m seeing major changes at work. It has seemed like a constant state of fight or flight. The stress that comes with overwhelming love for a kid who’s having a hard time. Trying to care of everything and everyone and also trying to take care of yourself because if you don’t you’re going to end up drowning.
Knowing you’re trying your best and that the person you’re trying to help the most won’t understand why you’re doing what you’re doing until later.
I suppose that’s the gist of being a parent, really.
The problem is that the overwhelming sense of everything falling down on you and the people you care about makes it really hard to breathe and take the time to do the things that bring you back to centre.
Like walking in nature, reading a good book, writing, doing some art. Even cleaning the house.
Also doing that thing where I completely forget to eat during the day, and don’t sleep enough at night. I’ve been losing myself completely. I’m not even really sure how to start to come back.