I’m a bit stuck.
I’ve been in bed most of the day because my tendonitis has reared its ugly head and my neck isn’t doing that great a job of supporting my head comfortably. Spending the day in bed was certainly not what I planned to do with my Saturday. More than that, I ended up not doing anything with my Saturday at all.
I barely got out of bed, I didn’t read, I didn’t write or draw, I got the tiniest bit of work done. I spent the day on my phone, looking at social media, trying to find a comfortable position. I did some meal planning on Pinterest, liked some photos on Instagram, read some rumours on reddit and otherwise completely wasted my time.
It felt like a culmination of all of the things I’ve been not doing over the course of the summer, and possibly even the year.
I’m stuck. I can’t get a move on. I’m not doing a lot of the things I would usually be doing, nor am I doing the things I keep meaning to start doing. It’s quiet frustrating.
I lie here, wishing that I felt like baking. Wishing that I had kept up that journalling every day, wondering about doing some research, knitting something new, missing the bit of doodling I had myself doing every evening, wondering why I don’t just go our for a walk sometimes.
There is a long list of things that are good for me, that I know I would enjoy, that I’m just not doing right now.
I want to be better. I want to be on the other side of this, stronger. But the difficulty is weighing me down. Too much thinking, not enough doing. Too much overwhelm.
I need to get a move on again.