I’m am currently in a period of depression. I know this because everything seems hard and I get tired easily.
I want to want to clean the house but I don’t know where to start, so I haven’t.
I want to eat better, but preparing food is too much.
I want to focus on things for a long period of time without getting distracted. I want to read things and remember them.
I want to want to cook and bake and take care of my family, but instead they’re taking care of me.
There have been times when I’ve been able to push myself to do something – take the kid to the park, watch her play soccer, go out with friends. But everything is just a little bit hard and I always feel a bit tired or tentative.
I’m having to push myself to do more and more things – like shower in the morning, or leave the house to get a meal. Sometimes even picking a TV show to watch is so much harder than just sitting in the quiet.
Of course, when I do push myself and get outside, take my daughter to play, sit in the sun and the breeze, it’s glorious and much-needed.
But it can be so hard to remember what feels good – and also that I deserve to.