2017 Incoming

Health, Parenting, Personal

It seems like it’s been a rough year. There were definite highs and some low lows. Crap getting thrown all over the bloody place. I’m worn out and ready to be hopeful. A couple of years ago I trusted my instincts and went back to school and it probably couldn’t have been better for me. […]

December 30, 2016

Year end


I was scrolling through Facebook today and one of my friends had sent good wishes and happiness. That anyone reading it would be happy. And I burst into tears. Because for the past month or two it has been very difficult to be happy, or even see happiness in my future. The past month, certainly, […]

December 26, 2016

Christmas from the West Coast


We’re away from home this Christmas. First time in several years. There was some talk of celebrating somewhere else last year, but after we lost my dad I wasn’t sure I could handle it. This year my Gramps is doing poorly, my mom doesn’t want to celebrate much of anything at all. Here we are […]

December 24, 2016

Late night musings


Sitting in the airport in Calgary. We got up at 4:30 this morning to catch a flight to get here for a four hour layover. Not my best planning. Because of the early flight we stayed out by the airport last night and I had quite a bit of trouble falling asleep. Now, I often […]

December 20, 2016

A mess

Health, Personal

When I go through depression – often when I go through the worst parts of my depression – there is an extra voice in my head. She tells me all the worst things about myself. She tells me the things I least need to hear in the moment. She tells me ‘they are better off […]

December 13, 2016

On the outside, always looking in


We had our company Christmas party the other day and one of my colleagues asked if she could put lipstick on me. I let her, and she told me I looked beautiful. Maybe I did, I tend not to see myself that way. I tend not to wear makeup. I never really learned how to […]

December 11, 2016



Much like I seem to spend time every day thinking about writing and wanted to write and doing nothing, I also seem to be spending time every day thinking about crying and feeling the need to cry and not. Usually I would turn on Steel Magnolias and let the tears flow, but recently I’ve just […]

December 10, 2016


Health, Personal

The past week or more I have intended to write every day. I have taken a notebook with me, I have logged in to my blog. I have had every intention of writing. And then I didn’t. Things have been stressful lately. A struggle. Every day has been a struggle. I am not sleeping well. […]

December 4, 2016