Non Mom


Parenting

I don’t read the papers that come home from school. I don’t help her with her homework. I forward the emails from gymnastics to my husband and add invitations to the calendar so he can keep track. I don’t remember any other time in my daughter’s life that I have been so terribly absent. Maybe […]

November 27, 2016

Once a Gilmore, Always a Gilmore


Parenting, Personal

I started watching Gilmore Girls as soon as it came on the air. I fell instantly in love. Rory was my age and she and Lane were going through was I was going through a lot of the time. Rory made me feel as though you could care about school and like reading and still have friends […]

November 26, 2016

One thing to look forward to…


Parenting, Personal

I did something to my shoulder over the weekend. My shoulder or my neck or both. I don’t know if I just slept funny or if I’ve actually done some damage, but whenever I move in certain ways I get waves of nausea. Winter arrived yesterday. Nasty, frigid, howling winter. The kind of winter that […]

November 21, 2016

Childhood


Personal

When I was a kid, my sister and I used to sleep over at our grandparents house fairly regularly – though I don’t remember exactly how often. I imagine my mother could have used a weekly break. My grandparents moved a lot when I was a kid. I remember three or four different places, all […]

November 14, 2016

This is the end


#MommyScholar

It is now past midnight on November 12, which means I’m graduating today. I never intended to do a Masters, but here I am. I get to add letters after my name. I’m graduating today, and neither my father nor my grandfather will be there to see it. The man who helped to raise me […]

November 12, 2016

Crash


Issues

Every fibre of my being is still rejecting last night’s result. I can’t accept it. I saw the words President Trump and my brain couldn’t make sense of it. There are so many things not okay about any of this. So much hatred. So many people who just really don’t care about anyone else. Who […]

November 9, 2016

Upside, Downside, Lopside


Parenting

For four years I have been the one at home. Mostly. Even when I was in school I was quite often doing the parent things – getting her on the school bus, checking her bag when she got home, occasionally volunteering – though Scientists in the School is Daddy’s jam. Now I’m working full time. I started […]

November 7, 2016

Her.


Personal

There is a song in the musical Wicked that spoke to me because it’s something I’ve told myself for a lot of my life. I’m not that girl. I went to school with mostly the same people from when I entered JK to when I graduated high school 15 years later. (We had Grade 13). […]

November 6, 2016

Life preserver


Personal

The past week I have felt off kilter. Tonight, as I think about it, I rather feel like I’m drowning. I was sick – stomach virus – my allergies have been bad because of the season change. I’ve been cold. I’ve not been sleeping enough. I’ve been working a lot. Last Friday I fell asleep […]

November 6, 2016

Untitled


Health

I have spent the past few days feeling like I’m just not enough. At work, at home, for myself or my family. The house is a mess, meal plans are out the window, exercise is non existent. I’m useless. All of the things that make me feel better about myself have disappeared into the ether. […]

November 5, 2016