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Dear 16 year old me

September 6th, 2016 | Posted by Amy Boughner in Personal

Dear 16-year-old me,

Amy at 16

Hi there. You’re going through a hard time right now, I know. Even though you’re really good at hiding it. You’re considering some drastic things like dropping out of school and even suicide.

You have no idea that 20 years from now you’ll be in a much better place. You have no idea what awaits the other side of the dark place you’re in.

It doesn’t end there. You’re going to keep struggling with depression but you’re going to get better at it. You’ll learn a lot about yourself

Right now you’re not sure you want to finish high school but in 20 years you’ll be graduating with a Master’s degree.

You’ll have a daughter who is awesome and she will make you a better version of yourself. You’ll have a husband who will do his damnedest to make you feel better about yourself. The unexpected family.

And you’ll worry, often, that you’re going to manage to ruin it all. Sometimes you’ll wonder if you’re doing it on purpose. And you’ll be frustrated that your brain chemicals are still screwing with you so many years later, but the days when you don’t think you suck will start to outnumber the days when you wish the world would swallow you whole.

Every day that little girl throws all of her love your way will build you up. Every day that you can help her work through something that’s bothering her. Every hug she gives you will fill your soul.

And somewhere along the way you will realize that everything you have been through has made you into a the person you are, and she’s stronger than you ever thought she could be.

Just keep going.

 

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