Right now I’m reading a book of essays about women and their hair. It’s fascinating because I understand the deep relationship some women feels, and how much hair can matter but I also understand that it’s never really mattered that much to me.
I’ve had my hair very short – a delightful mushroom cut around Grade 3 or 4 – and what I considered long, but others would decidedly not, just past my shoulders.
Except for one very short cut after the baby was born and a failed attempt at bangs, I’ve had basically the same hair since I took a picture of Neve Campbell to my stylist at age 16. A layered bob is easy and it suits me if I do say so myself.
And now it’s going grey.
My theory of hair has always been that it grows back. I let it air dry and I avoid product because I don’t know what products I should use or how to use them. For a few years I coloured it regularly and then I just sort of stopped. My hair is one part of me that contributes to my overall feeling that I’m never quite put together. There’s always a stain or a tear or a hair our of place.
When my daughter was born she had a full head of hair.
I was nervous about having a daughter for a whole bunch of reasons, but hair was a pretty big factor. What if I have a daughter who wants me to style her hair and all I can offer is pig tails?
What will her hair mean to her over the course of her life?
The fact is she has been blessed with beautiful hair. It’s thin, but she has so much of it. She has natural highlights that glow blond in the summer. She has also been cursed with thin hair that tangles easily, particularly when she’s rolling around, sleeping restlessly. She’s had it short, she’s had bangs, and now she wears it long and loves pig tails (which I can do!) and pony tails, headbands and braids. She likes buns (which I can’t do – but Daddy can) and grew it longer than ever to get the perfect bun for her dance recital this year.
I’m sure it will turn colours – pinks and purples and reds and blues. I’m sure she will someday take a picture of some celebrity and ask her stylist for just that look.
Overall I hope that when she grows up her hair, like mine, is always just hair that will grow back.