One of the reasons I was scared to become a mother was my lifetime of dealing with depression. It started out as school anxiety when I was in elementary school and turned into full blown clinical depression by the time I hit 16. I’ve been dealing with it ever since.
I’m doing well now. Mostly. I’m on medication that works for me. I’ve learned a lot about myself over the years and what feelings I need to be wary of. I still have that voice in my head sometimes, that tells me my family would be better off, but I recognize it for what it is.
Emotions hit me hard, I am empathetic, sometimes to my own detriment. And that is where my daughter resembles me completely.
I was terrified of this, what’s happening now. Anxiety building up. Stomach aches. Claiming she can’t control her emotions. High highs and low lows. She needs help, now.
We need help to figure out how to help her.
I’ve told people for years that we suspect she’s gifted. Given everything I’ve continued to read, stories from other parents – including my mother-in-law on dealing with Joe as a child – there is no longer suspicion. She is gifted. She is smart and intuitive and emotional and sometimes she gets carried away with herself. And sometimes she gets frustrated in having to deal with people who don’t or can’t see the world the way she does.
A friend said it to me best – these special kids, they don’t understand that not everyone else sees the world the way they do.
At first I was terrified, but now I’m seizing the opportunity. She’s done so much to make me better, and now we can help her be the best she can be.