I went to get my hair cut yesterday. My hairstylist is awesome. I’ve never had such easy conversations with someone cutting my hair – I’m not very good with small talk. But with Ali the conversation just flows – she’s funny and interesting, and very good at what she does. She also does my mother’s hair and I’ve told my sister to go to her.

While we talked last night about all the goings on in our lives I mentioned that my father had died, which I guess she hadn’t realized. And at one point in the conversation – hairstylist as therapist – I mentioned that I was always so much like my Dad that I didn’t think I’d ever be a good mother. She knew what I meant and she told me that’s ridiculous. My Mom tells her a lot about the kid and what a good kid she is and I found myself doing something that I think needs a bit more thought on my part.

Instead of agreeing that yes, I am a pretty damn good mom, I deflected – she’s just a good kid. We’re lucky.

But Ali told me something that I already know, when I reflect on it: The kid is such a good kid, and growing up to be a pretty great person, because of the time we’ve spent together and the things I have helped teach her. We’ve done so many things, her and I. I’ve done things I never would have done pre-child. Pushed myself out of my comfort zone to make her happy, to decrease her chances of being as socially awkward as me.

And in the course of it, she’s taught me a hell of a lot. And I’ve become less socially awkward, more confident and more comfortable outside of my comfort zone.

We’re a team. We have been since the start. And we make each other better.



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