When I decided to go back to school, and again when I decided to work and do school at the same time, I knew I was going to be making tough choices. Having to tell my daughter that this year I would not be there to put her on the bus on her first day of school.
I won’t be there for the pictures, I won’t meet her new bus driver. I won’t be there to do her hair or help her pick an outfit.
It’s the first first day I’m missing. I took her to preschool, I was there at the bus last year (and I cried). My whole being tells me I should be there, but that I have to go to class. I have to.
I cannot and will not mess this opportunity up.
I can only keep telling her why and hoping she understands.
Where I’m struggling the most is that I’m really enjoying being at work, and I’m legitimately interested in what I’m doing at school and both of those things are working together to fuel a passion that burned out a few years ago.
So right now I have to be there for me, not wasting the opportunities given to me, and assume that she will watch me thrive and understand that these are the things that life is about.
And I have to assume that in the grand scheme of things, my not being there to put her on the bus on her first day of senior kindergarten will not be a big deal.