I need everything to just stop for like an hour, maybe?
I’m tired and I’d like a second to just think about all of the things that have been happening over the past couple of months. I’d like for there to be no news for a little while. No more shootings or attacks on black lives, or gay people or anyone more vulnerable than people like me. No more sexual violence, or stupid comments about the inevitability of sexual violence.
No more kid being sick, or Joe being sick or me being sick.
An hour to feel healthy. An hour without stupidity. An hour without my to do list hanging over my head.
Hell, another hour with my Dad so I can just ask him honest questions and know.
An hour to feel like I’m not stumbling around in the darkness. Maybe a second hour to just sit and cry. An hour to take a drive with the windows open, the perfect playlist and no particular destination.
Everything right now feels uncertain and it’s a very uncomfortable place to be. Nothing feels quite right. Nothing the way it’s supposed to be. I spend most of my time either dealing with things that are hard or waiting for the next hard thing to happen and I just want a little break. That’s all. Just a pause.
A pause to take it all in.