Last week the kid announced to me that she had two BFFs. When I asked her what BFF meant she knew and she told me so. She then proceeded to list six different kids that she considers her BFFs.
(And none of them was the kid she declared to be her boyfriend last week).
Now she’s had friends before – kids that she’s comfortable with, that she plays well with, kids that we like. She made some good friends in preschool that we hoped to keep in touch with, but since she goes to a different school for kindergarten than any of those kids it’s not easy.
But now, now she’s making friends that she could have for the rest of her life and I am very excited. There are two little girls in particular that I’m focused on. One is a friend that we adore. When they’re together the house is full of giggles. And they make me laugh and smile too. They play well. They’re great together and this little girl is someone that I would love to see grow up with my daughter.
Then there’s the other little girl. She seems to laugh more at my kid than with her. She plays jokes that my daughter doesn’t think are very funny. She makes weird threats – we had several days in a row that this girl was telling the kid that she was going to tell on her. And when we talked about it, the kid said she had no idea what she had done that would make her friend hurt or upset.
After hearing more stories about the strange things that this child was saying and doing, I suggested to my daughter than maybe this girl wasn’t such a great friend to have.
I don’t want to disabuse her of the notion that people are essentially good. Not yet. But I do want to teach her that she has a right to tell other kids when they’re making her uncomfortable, or she doesn’t like the way she’s being treated. That sometimes she needs to worry more about her own feelings than other people’s.
For now, I will focus on the good kids she’s brought into our lives. The ones that really can be BFFs. The ones to form memories with. I mean, my kid is awesome, she’s bound to surround herself with awesome people too.