I’m having a day. I wasn’t quite sure what was wrong. I’m tired, school is taking a lot out of me. I have a headache from this sinus infection that just keeps hanging on.
But when I started getting teary I figured out what the problem is – I’m in mourning.
This is hard. It’s exhausting. Going to class, getting my readings done, working on assignments – all the professors forget you’re taking more than just their class. Or don’t care.
I’m at school all day on Mondays. I leave the house at 7 and get home after 10. That is an entire day when I don’t get to see my kid or really talk to her at all. On Tuesday I get to drop her at the bus, and then I don’t see her again until Wednesday morning.
I’m mourning the time we used to get together. The time we used to hang out in the morning. The days we got to choose whatever we wanted. I’m mourning the time I used to have. The days when she would fall asleep and I would be here to hang out with my husband instead of on campus on in my office. My life has completely changed in the past three weeks – as I knew it would – but today I’m having a day when I’m being forced to recognize that. And it hurts.