So I’m making some major changes. There are no sugary snacks or chocolate in the house right now. Well, not for me.
This means that the times when I used to snack mindlessly, sitting at my desk working, or lying in bed reading or watching TV, I’m not. Which is a very good thing – thinking more about what I’m eating, cutting out excess sugar. It’s all good.
Except for the times of day when I feel my mood shift. I get bored or I get stressed or I get angry and I don’t have this usual way of dealing with it, so I sit and stew and feel just bad about everything.
The good news is that I can use exercise to work through this.Getting on the treadmill when I’m pissed off is just fine. But these daily dips make me feel really bad about my days. Every afternoon I feel like I don’t want to see anyone or do anything, it’s like a cloud of pessimism. It makes me feel unpleasant, it makes me feel like I’m not very nice to be around, and that is something I wasn’t prepared for. I knew this was going to be hard for me, trying to change habits that I’ve had since I was a kid, but I wasn’t prepared for the negative effect on my mood.
Especially when it feels like a bag of chocolate covered raisins will solve everything.
It’s especially hard because it feels like I’m always so close to a mis-step that could send me back to where I’ve always been. I don’t want to mess this up this time. I don’t want to fall back into old habits when I know that it will get easier. But man on man sometimes it feels like a chocolate bar will fix everything.