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Last in line

December 10th, 2013 | Posted by Amy Boughner in Parenting | Personal

Sometimes I get the overwhelming feeling that I just don’t matter.

Well, that I just don’t matter as much as everyone else.

Mom comes last.

I’ve got a three year old, I’ve got a dog and a husband and a mother who lives with us, I’ve got volunteer responsibilities and work responsibilities and it seems a lot like I’ve getting different complications thrown at me all the time. Everyone looks to me for plans and answers.

Sometimes I just don’t have any.

I want to do everything right all the time, but right sometimes just doesn’t exist. I go with my instincts, I do my best, I break down when it’s too much. I sleep or stay up late. I get upset, I rage.

I falter.

And then I start questioning everything I’m doing, and that’s my biggest mistake, because I can only do what I’m doing. I cannot control how people react to me. I can only do what feels right.

Now, let me write that down and stick it to a surface in every room of the house.

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