Some days this kid does things I never imagined my kid doing. Like, for example, she decided to go ahead and hit another kid while they were playing after school.
She’s hit me before, in anger, in the middle of a tantrum. She’s been told it’s not okay, it’s not appropriate and she needs to use her words.
But this, I had not even the beginning of a clue how to deal with this. Really I should have been better prepared, kids hit kids, it happens, but when that other little girl started crying and the kid refused to tell me what had happened I got a sudden sinking feeling. When the other mom came over and told me her daughter’s side of the story I knew it was the truth, especially when my kid covered her ears, which is her tell for ‘I just did something really bad and I don’t want to hear about it.’
And that’s when my stomach fell.
There were tears and screaming as I picked her up and took her to the car, fought her into her buckles and settled myself in to drive.
As we got closer to home she told me the truth, she had hit her, she told me her reasoning, which made it worse: She had wanted to hurt her, because she didn’t want the girl to like her any more.
How am I supposed to respond to any of this? Seriously, I am a dumbfounded Mama on this one.
I apologized to the little girl, I scolded my own, I told her teachers about it in case anything else happened between them, I apologized to the other mother, and we made her apologize.
And when I finally took a step back it all felt like maybe too much. I can’t take any of it back now, but I also feel like there’s a big arrow pointing to my head flashing the words ‘Jumps overboard.’