When Drew Dudley started talking about edge of the bed advice in his closing keynote at Blissdom, I think everyone in the room started thinking about what they would say. He gave us the situation of sitting on the edge of our child’s bed the night before they leave home for university, moving out of the house and going away. What would you say?
Finally, after a couple of weeks of having this in the back of my mind, I think I have something: Know that you can be your own best friend.
I’m generally what you would call a loner. I like my me time. I love solitary things – including solitaire. Going to the movies alone is one of my favourite activities. It means I can see the crap that only I enjoy and I have never forced my husband into a romcom.
For a long time I worried about being judged for who I was or how I spent my time. In high school I new that I was supposed to want to head out with friends to party, but it wasn’t what I really wanted and here’s the thing: Fuck ’em.
This is who I am. I’ve spent more than 30 years now getting to know her, and I like her, most of the time. I like spending time in my head.
When I went away to school, when I moved across the country on my own, when I started university, all these times I could have stayed home by myself, waiting to make friends to go out and do things with, but I opted not to do that.
If you can be your own best friend – someone you like to spend quality time with – then any other friends are a bonus.
There is no shame in being alone – in fact a lot of people are going to look at you with envy. You have the confidence to hang out with just you. Walk around naked, dance in your underwear, watch a sad movie just because you feel like crying, eat your favourite junk food.
Sometimes there’s nothing better than just being with you.
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