There are days when everything seems hard. I try to focus on something and end up cleaning the bathroom. I plan an activity for the kid and she bails after a few minutes.
Joe tells me I dwell on the bad things. My doctor tells me to write a gratitude journal.
Sometimes I feel as though I have an expiration date. That we’re five years in to our marriage and I’m now incapable of being a good wife, that it’s been a year that I’ve been home with the kid and I can’t handle it any more.
Those overwhelming days when you wonder when you last did the right thing.
There are things I’m grateful for, the love that I feel for this little girl that can make me teary just thinking about her, the opportunities I’ve been given, the husband who for some reason decided on me, the house that keeps us safe and warm, a dog who is always willing to cuddle up when it’s time for a nap.
Things are good and then, it seems, there’s me.