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Point of discussion

April 23rd, 2013 | Posted by Amy Boughner in #ToddlerLife

Lately the kid has been using more and more words again. She pays close attention, listening to us talk, the TV, the radio, and she picks things up, always has.

She has an app that allows her to speak to Pocoyo and he repeats back what you say to him. She has not yet figured out he’s just repeating and this lead to her yelling “You’re a jerk! No! YOU’RE A JERK.”

Yes, she is wearing her boots on the wrong feet. I don't fight it any more.

Yes, she is wearing her boots on the wrong feet. I don’t fight it any more.

When Joe asked me where she picked up that language, I pointed out that he often tells me not to be a jerk.

Over the past few weeks she has called things stupid and she has said she hates things and Joe has told her those are not nice words and not words she should be using.

Here’s the thing…

I disagree.

I try not to disagree with the way Joe does things and what he tells her when she’s standing in front of us because if there’s something that’s more important to him than to me we need to talk about that. This language thing? I know lots of parents tell their kids not to use the word hate, and I know that telling someone you hate them or that they’re stupid can be really hurtful.

That is why I tell my daughter the following: People can DO stupid things but you shouldn’t call the people themselves stupid.

As for hate, I don’t know where I sit on hate, but it seems silly to ban it from her vocabulary. Like it or not she’s going to get to an age when she’ll declare that she hates one or the other of us. I have no real issue with her saying that she hates the taste of something or she hates a situation, so long as she’s not declaring that she hates a person without really getting to know them.

I can’t ban her from hating people because I haven’t been able to stop myself from hating a few. There are grudges I still hold and people that still boil my blood. I think – so long as a bad feeling about one person because of an action they’ve taken doesn’t turn into a bigger hatred for a group of people, including some that you don’t even know but hate just because they share characteristics with that one person – hate is okay. It’s a legitimate feeling.

What words do you ban in your house?

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