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Fear, Itself

February 25th, 2013 | Posted by Amy Boughner in #ToddlerLife

*Also the title of one of my favourite episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer*

This weekend the kid didn’t want to go to her skating class. We’re still trying to figure out what to do about these situations – force her to go and watch anyway, let her quit and try again next week…

After she said she didn’t want to go, I sat down with her and told her that with my birthday coming up it would be a very special present if she would go and participate in her skating and gymnastics classes this week so I could watch her. She agreed that that was a good gift and we got ready to go.

And then she declared again that she didn’t want to.

We went from planning to go to skating and then out for breakfast to staying home all day. And I started crying. I think the tears were sadness for her and frustration at not being able to fix whatever is wrong, and not wanting to spend another day at home, stuck.

Eventually we all sat down again to talk about. She was scared, despite having gone to this class before and knowing that she had fun there, that her daddy would be with her. She was scared and she wanted to totally avoid the situation.

So I told her that I know how she feels. I used to not do things because I was scared. I let me talk myself out of things that I may have enjoyed because the fear made more sense than anything else. I told her that I had to learn that you can be afraid but you need to still push yourself to do things because you will end up having fun. I told her that if I had just let myself be afraid I never would have married her Daddy and, more importantly, I never would have become a Mommy.

I told her that being a mom was the scariest things I’ve ever done, but if I hadn’t gotten past being afraid I would have lost out on the best thing that ever happened to me.

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I don’t know if she understood what I said. I don’t know if I fixed it, but we got her out. She almost quit halfway through but then we talked again and she went back out and did her best and I got to tell her how proud I was of her for trying and trying again.

 

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