When I went back to work at the end of my leave we got very, very lucky with our daycare. Our kid was treated very well and she loved going to the care provider’s home. She got along with the other children there and she thrived. It made things so much easier.

When I left my job in May part of the reason was that it was getting harder and harder to see so little of my daughter. The harder it was to be at work, the more difficult it was to make the sacrifice.

So I quit and we took her out of daycare and then I started doing the most difficult job I’ve ever done – Being wholly responsible for this little girl who can walk and talk and argue and form her own opinions and has a future in kicking ass and taking names.

Every day brings it’s own little tests and it’s own special moments.

Last night she had a bit of a breakdown. She asked for me and then she cried and cried and told me that she didn’t want to go to preschool that she wants to go to daycare and she misses her daycare provider and that her daycare provider misses her and loves her.

It has been months since she’s mentioned the caregiver, and I had planned to call her and visit sometimes but it just hadn’t happened. Now I held a crying girl in my arms who was begging me to go and see her friend. I promised her we would call in the morning.

When we did and the kid heard her voice a huge smile lit up her face. Our caregiver recognized my voice right away and we arranged a visit for later in the morning. When we arrived and she popped her head out of the door the kid ran right into a hug. They talked and we talked and she laughed and they laughed together. I didn’t realize how much I had missed her too.

We talked about maybe sending the kid back for one day a week and she told me that my daughter is part of her family and will always be welcome in her home. That is a link that I want to preserve for her.


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