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Lists of my lists

June 27th, 2012 | Posted by Amy Boughner in Personal

One of my greatest discoveries is that writing leads to more and better writing. Also, reading leads to more and better writing. This is why I am very excited that the jobs I’m doing from home involve lots of reading and writing.

Also, I’ve been reading more lately just for myself – there is a correlation here to the fact that we have a wonderful, large bathtub in the new house.

The only problem is that it’s hard to keep all my thoughts together. I’m trying to keep my to do lists, the same as I did before. I keep those and notes I take in my Moleskine. I have a big calendar in the kitchen that I write all our appointments and important dates on. Plus my Google calendar. And then I email Joe with notes about the week ahead.

And I send him emails with to-do lists.

And I send him emails with our meal plan to go along with the Google doc we share.

I may be overly thorough for fear of forgetting something or dropping a ball.

When I’m getting my work done and I’ve got a good flow going I feel as though I’m dropping the ball on being a parent. When I’m playing with my daughter I’m constantly thinking about my email and what I might be missing.

The front page story in Atlantic Monthly is being called a manifesto: Why Women Still Can’t Have It All.

The fact is, no one ever told me I could. I knew that having work and a life and a family was going to be a struggle. I’ve known that my whole life.

What no one told me was that I would have no real choice. I have a family, which means I have to work because we have bills to pay. I have to have an income and that means I have to make time to work. I have a daughter and that means that I have to take care of her and her needs. We have a home and that means that I have to clean it. We have to eat, so I cook our meals. I try to have a little bit of fun so I’m not a miserable person.

No one ever told me that I could have it all, no one told me that if I chose to have a child I would have to.

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