I’ve had barely any sleep. The kid has been awake since about 10 last night, with a short nap between 4 and 6 am. I have been awake with her and I didn’t get the three hours she had before she woke.
She woke up at first just calling for me and eventually became inconsolable. At one point in the early hours I drifted off only to wake up to her screaming cries.
I still don’t know what’s wrong. She seems happy enough now. She has this frustrating way of not seeming tired or wanting to nap even after so little sleep. She hasn’t had a regular nap since before she hit her first birthday. The last time we were up all night together, we did manage to get a nap the next day but she doesn’t seem interested in that at all today.
I think she’s tired of having a stuffed up nose, that we keep wiping for her, which hurts her red chapped skin. She’s got a cough now, which I have to assume is accompanied by the same sort of sore throat I have with my cough. She might be finally getting her two year molars, maybe it’s growing pains. I have no answers.
It’s days like this that I feel totally unprepared for this. Motherhood. I feel like I’m still an 18-year-old kid who isn’t even qualified to babysit this ball of energy I call a daughter.
I look at her and I want to just fix whatever is wrong. I want to make her feel better and cuddle her and rock her into a peaceful sleep. But she remains frustratingly awake. Not eating much, not doing much but running around in circles and watching more TV than I should allow.
It will all seems better once I’ve had a nap.