So, 2011, you have been quite something. You have totally exhausted me mentally and physically.
You started off well, I went back to work, the kid started daycare and everything was running smoothly. I was keeping up. And then you decided that we had to have an election.
Six weeks of walking to the bus in the early morning hours, working too close to colleagues for a 12 or 13 hour day. Feeding myself caffeine and sugar. Not seeing my baby girl in the morning and often not at night.
You capped it off with a win bigger than we ever expected. Things were busy and confused for weeks. We had to push ourselves through June, figuring out this new identity. We made it, we knew things would slowly get easier and then you pulled the rug out from under us again.
I was already on stress leave when Jack died. I felt like I had been sideswiped. It was the most unfair thing I have ever seen happen. Gone, just like that. Leaving us behind, wondering what the hell would happen next.
Since I came back to work in September things have gotten harder and harder. Work is stressful, home is hard, the exhaustion is overwhelming.
I have stopped exercising after doing so well. My diet has gone completely down the toilet. I am struggling to get over the finish line of this year… But now I have it in my sights.
This year has been nothing like I have ever experienced before. I was tested every which way and I’m barely going to make it through. This Wednesday my office closes for the holidays and I have a week – one week – to figure out how to get myself back together.
Because there is no question it has to get better.