I had my annual physical at the end of October and I am up 6 lbs from the last time I weighed myself. This is not a surprise, I haven’t been doing well and I know that. But I’m very disappointed to be back here, back over 200, back to where I’m sick of being.

It’s not just that it’s hard, that it’s going to be hard, it’s that I’ve wasted all the effort I’ve already put in.

I got to a certain level and now that’s gone.

I’m not back to square one, and I have the added advantage that I know what I was doing worked.

But, but, but…

Excuses are so much easier. I’m tired, I need things to be easy, I want what I want when I want it.

But, you know what, I’m also tired of feeling winded when I get to the top of the stairs. I’m tired of hating the way I look in some of my favourite clothes, I’m tired of my skin breaking out and being unfit and wondering if I’m going to be able to keep up with my kid.

¬†What’s it going to take to get back on track? It’s going to take hard decisions, being mean to myself, pushing the bad things out of my life and just damn well doing things even if I don’t feel like it.

I had a good start to the week, so now I need to keep the momentum.

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