This morning the kid woke up at 5:30. I got up with her and we got ready for the morning together – brushed our hair, brushed our teeth, got dressed and woke Daddy up. When I put her down on the change table and started changing her diaper and getting her dressed she kicked her foot up and pointed and said ‘toes.’ We’ve been learning head and shoulders, knees and toes. She likes her toes. She loves knowing the words for things.
By the time the whole family was ready for the day ahead, it was barely 6:30 – about an hour before we usually leave. And there wasn’t much in the way of breakfast in the house. So I suggested the three of us go out for breakfast – one of Joe’s favourite things. And we came downtown and went to Dunn’s for the the $3.99 breakfast.
I like eating out with my kid, even though she can sometimes be loud and sometimes obnoxious. She’ll spill on herself and demand to get out of her high chair. She’s started demanding to drink out of a straw, even when her sippy cup is much easier for everyone. She’ll be picky about what she will and won’t eat – this morning she refused the toast and eggs for a breakfast of sausage and has browns alone. She can be so frustrating.
We three walked to the car together. I had no idea that she would be so young and be able to just hold my hand and walk down the sidewalk with me. She’s funny when she walks – she runs and hops and looks around her. She likes going over manholes and speedbumps. I think she can see that they look different and she wants to know if they feel different.
When we got back to the car I kissed her cheeks. I love her cheeks. And I told her I love her. She and Daddy dropped me off at my building and went off to daycare where she will spend the day with her caregiver who also loves her, dotes on her. Three little boys that she’s learning to share with and be nice to.
When I came back to work I was excited and I felt as though I should feel guilty about being excited. Today I felt love, just absolute love for her, and when she and Joe drove off and I walked into my office building, I felt like I should feel guilt, but all I feel is happiness. Total, unexpected happiness.
She is the most unexpected thing.
There was nothing like the way she greeted me at the airport when I got back from my working trip to Vancouver. First I saw them, she saw me at the top of the escalator, she pointed and started shouting Mommy, Joe put her on the ground and held on to her so she wouldn’t up the escalator, but her legs were moving and jumping and ready to run, I got to the bottom and she ran to me while I ran to her and gave her a big hug.
I missed her while I was gone. I worried she would be angry with me. There’s still love.
She loves me enough to let me be happy doing what I love to do, and still come home and have beautiful moments.