After I decided to start this little blog feature about the money each week that I don’t spend, I went on a little book binge. I bought a few new books for the kid and a couple for me. It has been painful for me that my reaction to dealing with my debt level, or the reminder that I have to control myself if I want to get this monkey off my back, generally leads to me going out and having a ‘fuck it’ shopping trip.
It’s always the last time, it’s always stupid and I always regret it.
And so, after the Twitter party with Gail, after sitting down with Joe to talk through our budget, and after talking to my grandfather – who is the person I love and respect most in the world, and who has been helping me all my life – we have come up with some solutions.
A proper budget, variable expenses covered by cash in jars so everything is visual and when the money is gone it’s gone – and me leaving my cards at home.
I have two debit cards and one credit card. I have had a credit card since I was 19 and it’s always been dangerous for me. Whenever I have a little wiggle room, when I’m having a bad day, I go out, I buy something we don’t need, or something I don’t need to eat, and I feel good for a short time – and then I feel stupid. So, I’m taking away my quick access to money for a little while. No more emotional spending. Everything has to get thought through.
This should also help with my weight loss goals. No quick access to money, no fulfilling my sudden craving, no junk food throughout the day. No emotional spending, getting on the treadmill to pound out my frustations.
I still have to take small steps and work through issues that I’ve had for too long – but I mean it this time.
The credit card must die.