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What’s it to you?

June 7th, 2011 | Posted by Amy Boughner in Personal

I’ve developed a bit of a ‘what the hell’ attitude lately – Why not enter that contest? I could win. Why not talk to that person? We could have a lot in common. Why not add that comment on that blog? Maybe I can give someone something interesting to think about, or at least let the blogger know I was there. Why not take that next step? One more step can’t hurt.

Why not just try?

For most of my life the answer to that question has been clear – I’ll fail, people will laugh at me, or ignore me, and I’ll end up feeling worse about myself than I did before.

But here I am, and I have good things about my life that no one can take away, and sometimes I can risk screwing up or being embarrassed knowing that the lesson will be worth it. It’s a strange new phenomenon.

People can only say no, and if they do it really doesn’t matter.

Maybe this attitude comes partly from my ‘the terrible twos start at 15 months’ daughter. We saw no and it might as well be the end of the world. We take something away and we’re the worst parents ever. There’s crying, screaming, flailing, hitting.

Five minutes later, she doesn’t even seem to remember.

Sitting here right now, I can’t remember the last time I embarrassed myself in front of someone. I’m sure it’s happened recently but I can’t think of any situations that had me turning red – and if I can’t remember, how likely is it that someone else is sitting around thinking of me doing something stupid?

So, why the hell not?

All I can do is fail, and I’ve done that before.

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