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Meandering

April 17th, 2011 | Posted by Amy Boughner in Personal

There’s something wonderful about pushing for something you believe in. There’s something wonderful about being given the opportunity to make your pitch and having it considered.

Having a voice.

It took me a long time to find my voice.

It wasn’t until I was in college, 20 years old, that I realized I wanted to answer questions in class and I didn’t give a damn if it bothered other people that I was smart. I am smart. There are things that I know and if I don’t know I go about figuring them out – or I ask other smart people. Every day I get the opportunity to talk to other smart people – my husband, my friends, my co-workers and bosses.

I get to spend every day with smart people and brainstorm with them and they listen to me, because I have a voice too.

Where I am right now? It feels good. Work is hard but rewarding, home is hard, but so, so rewarding. I have a lovely daughter – she’s smart too – and she is always excited to see me. She gives me hugs and sits with me. Right now there is nothing better than taking a walk in the sunshine with my husband, my daughter and our dog. That is peace.

I get that. And I get to work in a place that challenges me and means something to me. And I get to talk to my friends online when I can’t see them. And I get to write on my blog and in my various notebooks and express myself and have other people share their stories with me.

This is peace. This is calm and comfort.

I forget the good things on days like yesterday, when I was tired and I had a headache because of all the noise around me, and every little thing was getting on my nerves. And all I could think about was going home and seeing my baby girl because I hardly see her at all right now. And when I did get home she was cranky and loud and I felt like it was better at work. Yesterday was a bad day.

But today…

Today I slept in a bit. I went to breakfast with family and got to spend some nice time with my kid. I went in to work with a cup of coffee and got through my start of day tasks. I snuck out to see my friends for a few minutes, and talked about real life. Today I left work later than I would have liked, but I didn’t mind too much because we were laughing and joking and generally in good moods all around.

Today I spent some time thinking about what I’m going to do during my time off after the campaign, and I thought about cleaning up our backyard, maybe planting some flowers and making it a place where we can sit and relax as a family.

Last summer there were days went I took the baby out to the yard in her vibrating chair, put the puppy in his leash, and just sat in the sunshine, reading or thinking. That was calm and peace.

For the hard work I’m putting in right now, I’m making my country greater and there are such rewards at the end.

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