One year ago I was doing everything I could to force myself into labour.
At 41+ weeks pregnant and on the hospital list for induction, waiting for a phone call that I desperately wanted to avoid.
I hated being pregnant. I was uncomfortable almost from the beginning and it only got worse. The fact that I was so very, very pregnant seemed like a cruel joke. This baby that had been moving almost non-stop for so long was suddenly in no hurry to go anywhere.
I couldn’t sleep, I could hardly eat anything I was so big. All I could do was think about how my body was failing me.
The difference one year can make.
Today I was back at work. The Baby Girl was in day care – having a blast I’ve no doubt. She’s ingrained herself into my daily life. I still can’t quite believe how much I love her – and after I was so afraid that I wouldn’t feel anything. Even when she was up crying for an hour last night, as I was trying to prepare for a big day today, I was happy to have extra time with her.
But today at work, I felt right back in my comfort zone. It was almost as though I never left. It was strange. I’ve got a new opportunity that I sort of get to build myself and I’m really looking forward to getting into it. I missed working Amy, I was ready for this.
And when I got home, I still got hugs and giggles and I heard how wonderful she had been at day care all day, and I felt even more that this will be so good for the both of us.
At night I tell my baby girl that I am her mommy and her daddy and I will always, always be there if she needs us. Always. And now I know she’s understands.