At the beginning of 2009 I wrote out a short list of things I wanted to accomplish. One of the five or six things on that list was quite simply “to be pregnant.” At some point during that year I planned on being pregnant.
It was the only thing on my short list that I accomplished, buy by the end of 2009 I was very, very pregnant.
And so 2010 began, I was very, very pregnant and feeling like a total failure, scared of what I was facing – both how I would go into labour and how I would cope with motherhood.
And then on a day I hardly remember but will never forget, our little Baby Girl was born. They placed her on my chest and all I could think was ‘what do I do with it?’
That was the moment that I got to meet one of the most important people in my life, and this was the year that I got to know her. At that moment I had no idea how deeply she would affect me, but I had a pretty good idea that she would change my life completely.
I’ve tried to keep track of everything we’ve done together, and I’ve tried to do everything that I can think of in this one year just so we could experience them together. I pushed myself so she will have no fear in certain situations. She changed me.
Twenty-ten is the year I gave birth and the year I became a mother. It is the year I stepped out of my comfort zone and met some truly great women who will continue to inspire me. This year I began to truly define myself outside of my work, outside of being a mom. This year I helped to organize a charity road hockey tournament that did more good than we realized. This year I started to realize what I really need and want. This year I learned that I need to be working at something to be happy.
In 2010 I grew more strength than I really knew was possible and felt more weak and alone that I ever have.
I 2010 I found my family, I made new friends, I found out more about myself and the world around me.
I can only thank her for all of the things she’s taught me and changed in me by trying to teach it back to her.