We had a great Christmas away. The travel was a bit too much for the baby girl, who could do nothing but cry when we got to the airport, and didn’t enjoy the last hour or so of the drive to Dryden. Once we made it to our destination and she had a good sleep her personality came roaring back and she spent her time running around various relatives’ houses and doling out hugs.
She was well-gifted for her first Christmas, and surrounded by love. I was excited for her to spend it with her grandparents, and for her to meet her Aunts and Uncles and her Great-Grandparents.
The only hitch in our little vacation was my getting sick near the end of the week. It started with a sore throat one night, which turned into a sore throat, cough, a fever and chills. On the drive back to Winnipeg my right eye started itching and getting red and swollen. On the plane home both my ears popped painfully. When I woke up after our first morning back I had pink eye on both sides and a cough. Last night I coughed through most of the night and woke up after finally getting some sleep with a really bad earache.
It’s as though my immune system abandoned me somewhere in Northwestern Ontario.
Being sick, and being worried about getting the rest of the family sick, put a bit of a damper on the end of Christmas and has me very worried about our week ahead – and a big week it is.
On Monday we start the Baby Girl on her transition to day care.
I’m having a hard time being sick and trying to get rest right now because there is so much to think about and so much to get ready, but the thing that’s bothering me most about being sick right now is the time I’m missing with her.
Over the past year I have had the privilege of spending almost every minute with that little girl. I have gotten the chance to play with her and teach her and to just sit back and watch her. There is a good chance I will never in my life have this kind of time with my beautiful daughter again. I need this time to mourn the loss of that. I have realized that I need to grieve, and I’m okay with that, but my body is throwing obstacles at me and it makes that harder.
I also would really like to be using this time to plan menus, organize the house, and get more exercise on the treadmill that I missed while we were away, but instead I find myself lying in bed feeling weak and worried about being contagious. If I pass whatever this is on to either of the other members of the household, then things get even more complicated.
So after a good Christmas, and a pretty amazing year, all I ask for the start of 2011 is to be healthy and for the ability to push through.