This week we had a crisis in our family. Our pet got sick and we did what we had to do to take care of him. Doing what we had to do cost a pretty penny. Though we have pet insurance, I decided that it would be best to sell my ticket to Blissdom  Canada and not incur the costs of a hotel stay and travel to Toronto.

But I still need to drop a few pounds. (And by a few, I mean a lot of lbs).

So do I still try to lose 30 lbs by the women from across the country gather for Blissdom even though I won’t be in attendance?

I was supposed to have little reminders about the exercise I was supposed to be getting – first the Wiggle Waggle Walkathon to benefit the Ottawa Humane Society (they do both a 2k and a 5k), but that’s not going to happen.

The second, the Run for the Cure (a 5k) takes places on October 3. I was hoping to work on my Couch to 5k and be able to run maybe the majority of the way, but in my several attempts at level 1 I have failed. My failure has been a mixture of my fault, the dog’s fault and the baby’s fault, but if I’m honest I haven’t tried the best way I could.

Taking the baby and the dog with me was a bad plan for starters. With both of them it was unlikely that I would get half an hour to do anything without stopping for at least a few minutes. The dog would run too far, the baby would start crying, I would get fed up, the stroller would be uncomfortable to push as I ran.

Frankly, I prefer a brisk walk to a run any day. I’ve never been a runner and my failure to run well makes me feel even more unfit than I already feel.

I haven’t done a weigh-in or my measurements for a couple of weeks now, but I know I’ve been eating better (most days) and I feel like I’m looking better. I’ve been eating smaller portions and making (some) better choices. I’ve been stress eating but I’ve recognized it.

It seems as though I’m feeling full sooner. I’ve said no to myself and recognized when a craving wasn’t because of hunger, and also recognized that a craving wasn’t going to go away until I had what I wanted.

Maybe I just keep going, trying to get better and better, trying to move when I can and do what I can and lose weight in the way my body will. Will that be enough for me? Am I too comfortable doing too little?

I want to lose 30 lbs. I want to lose 50. I want to not be in the obese category. I want to be an example to my daughter. I want to be able to try on clothes in regular stores. I want to climb stairs and go biking and chase after my kid without getting winded. I want to participate with her.

I guess that just has to be enough of a goal.

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