30 lbs by Blissdom
Right now, I am pushing boundaries out of my way left right and centre. I am actually shocked by how out of my comfort zone I am, and how comfortable it is. I am meeting people, connecting with people, injecting myself in conversations and groups – and rather than being shunned like I always thought I would be, I’ve been accepted.
I used to avoid exercise for fear of sweating too much and having my face turn red, fear of not being able to complete my chosen task. Fear of being sent right back to high school gym class.
But guess what?
I like to sweat. I don’t care what I look like to other people, because it feel good. I had no idea this would ever happen to me. Turns out, when I’m not being forced into activities and I’m allowed to find things that I like to do, I enjoy physical exertion. Crazy eh? (The same rule seems to apply to cleaning). It also helps that walking with the stroller calms the baby down, and running with the stroller makes her giggle.
I love working. I miss being at work, I miss being involved and I’m trying to express to the people I work with to please, please give me more work to do when I get back. I’m testing my limits there, I’m pushing myself to push for changes. I never would have had confidence to do any of this, to talk to these people as an equal, to as questions and accept the answers openly, without hurt feelings, even a little while ago.
I love being a mother. I love my baby and I push her a little bit out of her comfort zone too. I never expected to be this in love with my baby, or to love being with her and taking care of all her needs, I never expected to be good at it and I certainly never expected to know, above all else, that I am a good mother no matter what.
Who is this confident woman and when did she start living my life?
Whoever she is, she’s going to be at Blissdom Canada, and she expects to be 30 lbs thinner.