So, I’ve started on my path to fitness (again). Baby and puppy and I have been going for long walks around the neighbourhood at a pretty good pace and I’ve been getting on the exercise bike when we don’t. I’ve been making a point of drinking more water, even adding it to my daily to do list. I’ve been knitting more, which keeps my hands to busy for constant snacking.
We’ve been eating better, cooking at home more, and I’ve been trying to add fruits and vegetables to my breakfast and lunches, even when I’m eating crap that’s easy to cook quickly and eat one-handed. We know that we are terrible with our portion sizes and that’s something we need to learn. I know we need to balance our meals more, and I’m trying to expand my slow cooker recipe library so that I can cook while the baby naps in the morning and have dinner ready with no issues when Joe gets home. We’re planning menus, trying to take lunches into consideration, and for the first time in my life I’m eating breakfast regularly.
I feel better, I feel fitter, and I feel like I’m setting out a good path, but there’s something else that needs changing.
I eat too much sugar. I always have. I used to spend my allowance at the corner store. I love chocolate and ice cream and licorice and gum and chewy things like Sour Patch Kids or Fuzzy Peaches. I always have a stash of something in the house and I often have more of a stash than Joe is aware of. I’m sneaky when it comes to my sugar.
Despite the fact that I have PCOS and I know that eating so much sugar can make it worse, and that if I don’t keep it under control, a whole lot of bad could happen, I eat sugar every day.
For the past few days I’ve been eating too many peanut butter cups. For the past few days I have gone to bed feeling sick to my stomach. For the past few days I have woken up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I’m starting to think I’m finally reaching my limit. I’ve been feeling sick and I think I need to give up chocolate, and maybe sugar in general. More than that, I want to give up chocolate and all the other sugary crap just because I feel as though it will make me feel better.
I think I’m a grown up.