Today I read two posts about the difference between being childless and being child-free – or the difference between women who consider themselves childless or child-free. It’s an argument I have heard all about before and one I have never involved myself in because for most of my life I just didn’t know what I wanted.

Mostly I just wish that all these women would stop wasting time fighting amongst themselves and belittling other women’s choices.

But anyway…

When I was little I always assumed that I would find the perfect boy and get married and have babies and everything would be smooth sailing. From the time I became a teenager until I met Joe I had made the firm decision that I would never get married. I didn’t know whether or not I would ever have children and I really didn’t know if I wanted any.

And Joe changed everything.

We started dating in March and moved in together in August, and got a puppy in December. It took us a whole year after moving in together before we got engaged, but we both knew that was going to happen. We got married about two and a half years after we started dating.

As soon as I knew it was Joe, I knew we would have kids.

All my life I have relished my relationship with my grandfather while lacking that same relationship with my father. All my life I have watched TV shows and movies about fathers and daughters and the special relationship they share and I have longed for it. I always wanted to be daddy’s little girl, I wanted someone to be that protective of me, someone who looked at me as though I was something really special.

Joe will be that father that I always wanted, there has never been a doubt in my mind and I feel very special to be the person that gets to make him a dad.

As terrified as I am of having a little girl and all the things I will have to teach her (she WILL understand what’s going on with her body dammit, my daughter will not be one of those girls that writes in to Seventeen asking if she lost her virginity because she used a tampon), I know that she will be the apple of Joe’s eye, even if she doesn’t become Team Canada’s goalie at the 2030 Olympics.

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