I’ve spent the past few years of my life dealing with the problems hormones can cause. The PCOS drama was all caused by an excess of testosterone in my system. Now here I am, pregnant and surging with hormones all the time, and the way it’s affecting me is a little overwhelming.
First off, I get more angry more quickly than I ever have before. So angry that I’ve fightened myself a couple of times with how bad it got.
Second, I get scared quickly. I hate being around people, I hate driving because I’m worried that someone else will do something that will end up hurting me and this baby. The other day I was at the mall and two kids were running around behind me and I kept envisioning one of them running into me and knocking me to the ground. On the way home I was being tailgated, which makes me angry and nervous in normal situations, and then two guys who seemed to be playing chicken cut me off. I could feel my heart speed up.
Third, and most expected, I get teary. A lot. On Friday we went to Carlingwood and I saw a schnauzer puppy at the pet store and he looked sad and scared and he just broke my heart. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Today we were back at the mall and I started crying again, over something completely different. This is hormones, combined with the feeling of being absolutely overwhelmed and completely unprepared.
I’m already worried that I can’t take care of this baby and it’s still inside me, what am I going to do when it’s staring up at me trying to convey what it needs?