Having arrived in Regina, now living with my mother and my dog, I now need to help me help myself.

Networking and meeting new people has never been something I was good at, and now my survival depends on it. I need to get out there, hand out resumes, tell people I’m new to town and looking – in short, sell myself.

It doesn’t help that I have little to no confidence at this point. I build up my confidence by being gradually successful. Surviving the plane ride here was a success, but combined with the giant step back of leaving my husband at the airport and not knowing when I will see him again. Now I am in a new city without my support system, without a space to call my own and without any idea what the future will bring. I just want answers.

I want closing dates to hurry up, I want interviews and friends, I want to know that I’m getting somewhere. I want to know that he’s getting somewhere. The sooner he finds a job here, the sooner I see him again and I can hug him and we can have a home again.

I don’t want to give up, because giving up seems like failure, but I can’t be stuck like this for too long.

The thing is, I want to succeed here because I want to know that when I do see him again he will be proud of me. I will have a good job, I will have less debt, I will know my way around and have people to introduce him to, and houses for him to look at. It’s just so damn hard without him.