Apr 18 2014

Giggles

Author: Amy Boughner • Discussion: No Comments

So the NHL season is over here in Ottawa. The Senators didn’t make the playoff (oof) and now we have nothing to cheer for. Now we’re talking about next year (and also trying to win our playoffs pools), and what changes we might see in the team. There’s a lot of talk that Jason Spezza will get moved out of Ottawa, traded away for the benefit of team and player.

When there is talk of Spezza leaving the Senators I get actually, physically emotional. I can’t seem to help it. I lived in Belleville when Spezza got traded there. He was the first sports story I ever got to cover as a reporter.

12 years ago, Yardman Arena

When I got my Sens jersey a few years ago there was no question that Spezza’s would be the name on the back. I had seen him up close in junior and I knew what he was capable of. I know a lot of fans have had complaints about him, but I always cheered.

Still, when he was made captain at the beginning of this season I knew it was a mistake. Joe and I argue about this – I think it should have been Phillips, he thinks it should have been left empty for the season. Still, we agree that Spezza was a wrong choice. It was too much to ask of him, to step into Alfie’s shoes, it was too much for the team.

Now it is generally agreed that Spezza will be playing somewhere else next year, and I understand all the reasons for him and for the team, but I get teary every single time it has come up in conversation.

I miss the days of the franchise player. We had one in Alfredsson and then he was gone, now Spezza.

Apr 17 2014

Science!

Author: Amy Boughner • Discussion: No Comments

I am very interested in science. I loved learning chemistry and biology and especially physics when I was in school. Sadly, I did not have a great memory for scientific things and thus did not test well in the subject. Still, I am interested and I want my kid to love science and the way it makes you look at the world.

She doesn’t have godparents, but she does have a science-parent. Our friend Dan has a degree in biochemistry and has agreed to help keep up her interests. It shouldn’t be a problem as this child has no end of questions as to how things work and how things are made. Curiosity is the key word.

When we were invited to head to the Museum of Science and Technology for a play date I thought it was a great idea, and when I told the kid that we were going to the science museum she literally started jumping up and down and asking me about experiments.

Experiments are cool.

Lever

Physics!

It is possible that during the demonstration with the liquid nitrogen I got more excited than she did.

Apr 16 2014

Joe at 34

Author: Amy Boughner • Discussion: 2 Comments

When we got married almost seven years ago your best man said that you’d told him what you wanted in life – a family, a dog, being able to sit back in your home and watch the hockey game with a beer.

So here we are.

A family, our own home, a dog (who’s a bit weird), a kid (who’s a bit weird). We do good. Most of the time.

We’re symbiotic, me and you. Opposite in the right ways. We get tested, we push through.

And you and her? Too much the same sometimes.

Seriously

We grow together. All of us.

We have things to work on. We both know it, and we do work. We flow in and out together. It’s been an impossible nine years we’ve been together. Totally improbable.

I mean, when we met you have blue hair and wore torn cords and band shirts. I did not introduce myself thinking – in 10 years I’ll be married to this man, we’ll own a home, have a child and he’ll be a director somewhere.

“That’s him, that’s the man who will be the father I always wanted for my children!”

Did not cross my mind.

And then it all just happened. We were dating, engaged, married, parents.

I remember it felt like forever between getting engaged and having the wedding. Waiting for her took forever. Now, looking back, it’s impossible that it’s been almost a decade. It makes no sense.

I told you not to marry me. I’m glad you didn’t listen.

Apr 13 2014

So, what are you afraid of?

Author: Amy Boughner • Discussion: 1 Comment

On a webinar the other day Shelagh Cummins asked those of us who were listening in what we would do if we were not afraid.

That’s me at a roller derby bout. A few years ago I went to an open house for a roller derby team in the city. It was a great experience, though difficult physically. I was three months past giving birth and hadn’t been in shape before that. Still, the atmosphere was kind of awesome, the women there were all different but somehow the same. And then I didn’t go back.

The next year, or maybe two years later, I tried it again, and my health and fitness was even worse, and I didn’t make it through one session and I quit.

The fact is that I’m scared. I’m scared of failing, I’m scared of hurting myself. I’m scared of my body hurting when I push it. Because I’ve never been someone who pushes past my limits physically.

Except a few times I have and it hasn’t be a bad thing. So why do I forget that?

There are all sorts of other things I’m afraid of. I’m afraid of failing in my business, and also afraid of succeeding and what that would mean for me and for my family.

I am afraid of losing weight and having to redefine who I am, and what my body might look like after all I’ve put it through. I’m afraid of all the problems losing weight won’t actually solve.

One thing I am very good at not being afraid of is expressing myself, particularly in writing. The lag is in expressing what I am afraid of and doing something about it anyway. I’m terrified of changing and losing something in that change. I’m terrified of how hard change can be and finding out just how my flex I have. But I’m also scared of not changing.

Last week Jim Flaherty died. He was 64, he had stepped back from his job to spend more time with his wife and three sons. He was going to get out of politics and live a bit more. Less than a month later he was dead. He just didn’t ever get the chance. So what scares me more?

Apr 10 2014

Gossip queen

Author: Amy Boughner • Discussion: No Comments

I read celebrity gossip and I’m not sorry, mostly because Lainey Lui has taught me that gossip is a normal part of society. When I got the chance to be in a room with her and a group of smart and informed ladies she even told us that Stanford has done a study on the societal benefits of gossip.

If you haven’t seen her TED talk, just watch it and stop feeling bad about being interested in which Hollywood couples are breaking up or having babies.

For those who argue that gossip is gross or has no value I think she puts forward a very interesting argument. At the Faculty of Celebrity Studies event that I had the chance to attend on Monday I was fascinated at the debate that grew out of celebrity-centred topics. A room full of women had two hours of solid back and forth about a lot of things that most people would consider important, even those who don’t think celebrities or tabloid news should matter.

We talked about society’s growing fear of admitting failure, we talked about rape culture and I was left with a lot to think about and talk about with other friends.

Apr 09 2014

What I’ve done

Author: Amy Boughner

I’ve heard women say before that their child is their biggest accomplishment, and I’m always confused by this. I love my daughter more than anything else in the world, and I believe she is the best thing I’ve contributed to the world.

But she is not something I have achieved.

I mean she’s awesome and I have had a lot to do with raising her, but she’s her own human being, not an accomplishment. I mean, I grew her, which wasn’t easy, and I gave birth to her, which was also not easy, but lots and lots of other people have done those things.

Everything she is she’s figured out by herself, with a bit of guidance from me, her father, her grandparents, our wonderful caregiver from the time she was 1 until she was 3, various teachers in preschool and other classes like swimming and gymnastics. She’s a group effort. And the biggest effort comes from what she decides to do with herself, what she decides her interests are and are not.

I have other things I can focus on for my own chest thumping, she can consider everything she is her own.

Go for the gold, kiddo

Apr 08 2014

My little lobbyist

Author: Amy Boughner

As I tell the tales of living with my particular 4 year old I get comments from people that she reminds them of their own children, that she’s funny (which is true), and I also get comments occasionally that she sounds like a future lawyer or a lobbyist. Kid knows how to argue her case. She’s not afraid to change tactics to see if it elicits a different response. She’s smooth.

She looks so innocent

Sometimes she asks me if I’m thinking about having a baby brother or baby sister for her. Sometimes she asks when I’m going to have a baby. Sometimes she gives me an actual date by which she would like her baby brother or sister to be born.

She’s relentless. Sometimes she’ll let it go for a few days and then bombard me again. Once she came in and handed me a book and told me she was leaving it with me to remind me that she wants a baby sister.

The fact is, I don’t know what to tell her. I don’t have an answer for her and sometimes I’m absolutely positive the answer will be no, she can’t have a baby brother or sister. It’s really hard to feel like something you’re child thinks she wants so much might be the wrong thing. It’s hard to explain to her that babies are hard, not just cute. It’s hard to explain that it would totally change her life and she might not actually like it as much as she thinks.

Apr 07 2014

Style-ish

Author: Amy Boughner

I was talking with some other business women about personal style last week and I thought I would write a bit about it. The thing is, for years I thought I didn’t have a personal style but then I realized that I do, it’s just not the kind of style you see in magazine.

I favour comfortable footwear and jeans. In the winter skirts and dresses are totally out of the question because I’m always cold – and if I’m not cold I’m afraid of being cold – but in the summer I lean towards them because I hate shorts with a fiery passion.

Seriously. never owned a pair that didn’t ride up. But dresses, they’re just so easy. One thing to put on, nothing to match.

Mostly you’ll find me in jeans and t-shirts. Simple comfort. Cozy sweaters – like I said, I’m always cold.

What I’ve realized as I’ve gotten older is that my style can be stylish, I can look businesslike and be comfortable, but most importantly I can be me.

Apr 06 2014

Little fan

Author: Amy Boughner

Talking about fandoms, I get excited thinking about what the kid might find herself enthralled with. I have friends whose kids are already heavily into Star Wars and comic books. My daughter says she likes Wonder Woman and Yoda, but is afraid of the Hulk.

Understandable really.

She’s also not a fan of Spider-man, much to her Auntie’s chagrin.

I of course want to introduce her to all my stuff, but I don’t want to force it on her. I also don’t want to scare the crap out of her, which some parts of Doctor Who would obviously do. I mean, the Weeping Angels scare the crap out of me. But she does love hitting the button on my TARDIS cookie jar and hearing the whirring, so that’s a good start.

We’ve introduced her to the Muppets already, of course, because we’re good parents. I mean, the Muppets aren’t so much a fandom as necessary to a happy life. I want to show her Gilmore Girls and Veronica Mars and Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all the strong females I can when it’s appropriate.

But I’m interested to see what fandoms she falls into as she grows up. And I hope she finds something that she loves.

Apr 06 2014

Big Fan

Author: Amy Boughner

I am a big fan of this new era of television, wherein I can discover a show and then watch it all in a week. I am a binge watcher of television, except in those cases where I start watching something, realize my husband would enjoy it as well, and start again with him. That was the case with Doctor Who.

Though the commercials for it scared the crap out of me as a child, I finally heard enough about the reboot and started watching it with the ninth doctor. Now I’m addicted. I have a TARDIS in my office. Maybe more than one…

And some mini figures.

There are also those shows that I watched and loved when they were on the air and now get to re-watch on DVD that make up my fandoms. I am a Whedonite, I have a poster of Serenity in my office. And a copy of the picture of me with Nathan Fillion. My Captain.

We’ve been watching The West Wing on DVD and totally loving it, so given my love of Sports Night, I guess I’m a Sorkin-ite or whatever you call those fans.

I’ve mentioned here before that over the past year I have become a dedicated Marshmallow.

(Veronica and Logan FOREVER).

All this leads me to wonder how many fandoms is too many. I mean, Aaron Sorkin’s fans don’t gather at Comicon, but that’s where I find my fellow Whedonites and Whovians. Plus I love kitsch – all those things that bring back my childhood that you now find at cons. For example, this year at Ottawa’s con I plan on geeking out over Christopher Lloyd, who was not only Doc Brown but also Judge Doom, and PAT MASTROIANNI. Yes, I did have to look up how to spell his name because he is and always will be Joey Jeremiah.

The funny thing about going to Ottawa’s Comicon last year was that it felt really awesome to be in packed rooms of people that loved the same things you loved, but also to realize how much there is out there that I know nothing about. While I wonder if I have too many fandoms, there are so very many that I’m not a part of.

I have never been able to get through the first/fourth Star Wars film – though to be clear, I do know the entire story. And yes, I have had people threaten to de-friend me after finding this out.

I’m not a Trekkie, though I watched a lot of Next Generation by virtue of it being on ALL THE TIME when I was a kid. Also, Patrick Stewart is awesome.

I don’t read comics, I’ve seen comic book movies but couldn’t get into any of the back story. I’m not at all interested in Anime, nor do I play video games. And last year at the con there were dozens if not hundreds of people dressed up as characters from an internet series that I had never heard of and did not understand when I looked it up.

So, how many fandoms is too many?